Lake Buena Vista, FL – Today, the AFL-CIO Executive Council
announced its unanimous passage of a resolution endorsing a comprehensive
doomsday policy that will lead to hundreds of thousands of jobs for Americas’
working families in the 21st century, while obliterating the planet
in the 22nd century.
“We need union jobs today, not tomorrow,” said Rich Trumka, President
of the AFL-CIO. “The resolution balances
our desire to protect the fragile ecosystem of the earth, while acknowledging
the economic benefits of a high-road strategy to develop the doomsday
technologies of the future.”
Although the AFL-CIO resolution did not explicitly endorse
the controversial Eartherminator™ project, a massive death laser financed
by Taft-Hartley pension funds and built with 100% union labor, the AFL-CIO resolution
expressed support for “shovel ready” doomsday technologies that are “properly
designed, manufactured, installed and maintained by skilled union workers.”
Eartherminator™ |
Sean McGarvey, President of the AFL-CIO’s Building and
Construction Trades Department and Co-Chair of the American Doomsday Institute
(ADI), noted that environmental concerns were overblown: “Yes, these
technologies will destroy life as we know it, but we see enormous opportunities
for working families in the emerging evacuation, resettlement, and cryogenic
industries of the future.”
In a related move, the AFL-CIO passed a comprehensive resolution
addressing climate change, mandating that Executive Council meetings would no
longer be held at luxury hotels located near coastal areas subject to flooding
or adverse weather events. Future
meetings will be held at secure bunkers located in Utah.
In addition, the AFL-CIO announced a historic new
partnership with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, distributing
the LDSPreparedness Manual to all union members as part of the AFL-CIO’s Union Privilege© program. “The prudent see danger and take
refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it, “ said Rich Trumka, an
avid hunter and survivalist.
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